We surround ourselves with people whose limits give us the greatest sense of love, acceptance, and security

Okay, I lost my way here. . . Sorry to get off topic. My point isn’t that we are heading towards everyone embracing DD. My point is we are heading towards fewer and fewer people caring about what people do with their private lives to the extent those actions do not negatively affect them. It’s called freedom. Love is not shame. Love is not damnation. Funny but the millennials seem to understand this. I wish more of the age 30+ crowd did.

W hile I hope for greater society acceptance of all types of people, when it comes to our specific personal relationships, our acceptance will always have limits as we are individuals with different needs and desires. That said, we don’t have to try and impose those limits on society as a whole. If a couple wants separate beds like Ricky and Lucy and use sex only for procreation – go for it. If a couple wants to share their bed with others and likes to be tied up and spanked – go for that too! My wish is for people to engage life to the fullest, however it may fulfill them – just so long as it doesn’t come at the expense of others fulfillment.

Sorry, don’t know where all that came from. I guess it just struck a chord in me and I had to vent.

OH YEAH, BACK TO CURIOUS CAT’S QUESTIONS Curious Cat, I completely understand and accept that you were not judging me in any way. I hope you don’t feel my rant was due to feeling defensive about your comments. I felt no such defensiveness. It then caused me to want to address the stigma that is too often attached to that. Sorry for getting so far off topic but it felt good for me to express that stuff. I hadn’t really tried to put those feelings into words before.

My tirade sprung from really connecting with why I am open to sexual exploration

You asked if Mike and I had ever had threesomes pre-DD. No. There was actually an opportunity for one but it did not happen because we were not open to it at the time. My guess is there were probably many more opportunities that we weren’t even aware of simply because we were not open or in-tune with it. Pre-DD we were pretty vanilla. No toys, no paddles, not sexual accoutrements. I will say that if we were both limber enough to bend a certain way, then we tried it, but other than that, pretty vanilla.

It’s also called love and acceptance

You asked about whether this more extreme version of Mike was visible to me back in my vanilla days. I wouldn’t call his current actions “extreme” but clearly, they are not reflective of his pre-DD days. Mike has always been easy going and not that much of a take charge guy. While he has become very comfortable in his role as a dom, he still surprises me when he comes up with something very Dom-like that I don’t expect.

Mike has shared that he has found he is less passive even at work, than he used to be. He isn’t aggressive in a mean way or overly authoritarian way, but he said he has found he holds others a lot more accountable than he used to and it actually has made him a better leader at work. He said he believes it is about confidence, not arrogance, and about being bold, without being a bully. He credits that to our DD.